My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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