i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
