ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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