He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
