I'm going to jail i love you
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
