member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
third nipple confirmed
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
