the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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