If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
