Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize