i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
