Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
