i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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