I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i permit you to call me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
