on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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