Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
