i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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