This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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