This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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