My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
