that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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