I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
