He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
