There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
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Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize