Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
