YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
