***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm drive I can fine osifer
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
