Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
