I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
