i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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