I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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