i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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