So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Randomize
