If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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