How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
