I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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