i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
