I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
