I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
