I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
