A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
