Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i love accidental penises.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize