just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
