Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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