It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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