Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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