What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
