Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
