hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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