bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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