there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Randomize
