Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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