i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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