I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
