Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
