watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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